How To Live With Desires: Identifying with the True Self Instead of Letting Desires Control Us

When we desire something, we first have to work for it. Often we find ourselves spending a large amount of mental energy thinking about it, wishing for it and wanting it to happen. But after working for it, we should let go and just be.

Living in a state of beingness means that we do the actions which lead to our desires and then we let go. For instance, let’s say we’re dating someone who we really desire to have as our permanent partner. At first we date them, we spend time with them, and we tell them that we love them. We might do things that help them to love us back. But when we’re not with them or doing those things to win over their hearts, we just be.

If we are washing the dishes, we’re simply washing the dishes. If we’re studying, we’re just studying. We don’t constantly ponder on questions such as “Can I win over their heart?”, “Will they accept me?” or “Will they be my partner for life?” When they finally say “Yes” or “No”, then we let go and we continue to just be. If our life is to be with them, then we just be with them. If our life is not to be with them, we let go and move forward, and we move on. We just be.

What we tend to do, however, is think about our desires and perseverate on them all day long, worrying that they won’t come true or thinking about what would happen if they did come true. The result is that we miss out on life that is happening around us, all day long. Desires come but work towards fulfilling them and then let go. Just be.

There are two types of desires: those for our personal benefit and those that fulfill our aspiration to improve the world. The latter are ones that are better; they are better for us and the universe conspires to help us fulfill those desires. Desires that lead towards happiness are good desires; desires that lead towards suffering are desires we want to walk away from. But the key to knowing how to treat our desires is being present, being aware, and deeply examining our desires. Are our desires causing…

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